Love, partnership and soul mates! So many of us spend a good chunk of our life looking for the “One”. but, what happens when we find someone? How do we know if they are the person who’s the right to spend the rest of our lives with or even starting a relationship with them is the right choice. While compatibility is no guarantee of longevity. As the study shows it is directly related to the quality and satisfaction of our relationships. Simply the more you and your partner are the happier you’re likely to be with them. Everybody has their own ideas about what qualities and traits their dream partner should have but rarely do we find someone who is perfect match instead of learns to compromise where we can and grow love people in spite of their flaws and imperfections. However, it can be hard to differentiate the normal difference from compatibility. So, if you wondering whether or not you and your significant others are incompatible. Here are the seven telltale signs that you are probably aren’t right for each other.
1. You don’t get each other
Right from the get-go, this can tell you a great deal about how good of a match you and your partner make if you have a hard time understanding how they are feeling? and what are they thinking? or what they need? Then, they might not be the one for you and vice-versa. It’s better to be someone you can be in sync with. Someone who picks up and understand your non-verbal cues. They can discern your tone of voice and get what you are trying to tell them. Otherwise, miscommunication and misunderstanding can pile up in your relationship.
2. You are too different from each other
It’s technically true that opposites do attracts every solid healthy couple should share at least a few similarities with their partner. This doesn’t mean having to like all the same music or movies they do or even share the same hobbies with them. In fact, it can be refreshing to be in a relationship with someone radically different from yourself. Sadly! Though the excitement won’t last forever if the similarities are too scarce or non-existent once the new and shiny effect wears off you’re both left with someone who doesn’t share the same humour, interests, value, ideals or principals. Making it difficult to relate to one another in any meaningful way.
3. You try to change each other not grow and learn together
The hallmark of any strong healthy relationship is having a partner who gives you the drive and motivation to change for the better and that’s the point. It must be something that you want for yourself your idea not theirs alone. Despite, your partner expressing irritation and dissatisfaction with the current you. It’s generally ineffective and unsustainable if you are forcing change on yourself solely because they want it and you don’t. You have to want it for you and this goes for many things. Whether its the way you dress, speak or who you hang out with. Only you have the right to decide who you want to be. If you don’t feel comfortable showing your true colours to your significant other even in a private setting then, this is the definite “Red flag”.
4. There is constant and highly frequent Arguing
It’s perfectly normal and healthy to disagree with your partner from time to time especially if it’s over something that important to the two of you. we didn’t choose this person so we could be a clone of ourselves. The disagreements become a problem however when arguing is constant and over the tiniest of things. It’s even unhealthier if the fighting is dirty, shouting, name-calling, humiliating each other and holding grudges and emotional blackmail. Being in a relationship with a partner who tends to bring out mostly the ugliest side of you, then it’s never good.
5. You attain all the peace by avoiding all the problems
It’s all about moderation while constant obviously isn’t ideal. But its also not good for couples to never disagree about anything. You need to be honest and communicate openly with one another about how you feel, even if its not an agreement with other people. Constant pretending everything is an okay and blind agreement to the wants of the other person doesn’t make the relationship stronger. It may in fact result in a catastrophic blow up later. Conflict can be a positive bond-building event if it is given and taken constructively. It then can lead to personal growth and a deeper mutual understanding.
6. Your socializing is isolated from everyone else
Do you find that when you and your partner go out and its nearly always only with each other? No friends, no parties or no group hangouts? Do you never spend any time with their friends? Have you ever met their friends? Is their family still a group of mystery people you never been introduced to? Even though you have been together for a while. If you answered YES any of these questions then this can be the potential problem. It’s important that you spend time with partner’s loved ones and get to know them better. Couples who make the efforts to be closed to other important people in their partner’s lives tend to have longer and happier relationships.
7. You’re not attracted to them
Lastly, but most importantly even when everything seems perfect on paper if you don’t have any romance or chemistry its simply not going to work. Without an inkling of those factors you might have the best friends but not necessarily a significant other. The result is that you will naturally be drawn to people you have that more than friends attractions too. The Triarchic Theory of love by “Robert Stern berg” even states that although intimacy and commitment are present without passion, and the love you share will only be platonic. Like the love shared between you and your friends and family. In the end, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Everyone has doubts or disagreements at the times with the person they love. A strong healthier relationship takes ongoing effort, dedication and also time to go. What’s important is finding that someone who to you is worth the effort. First impressions and initial choice do not seal your fate. Learning to know and recognize compatibility versus incompatibility will save you much heartbreak and possibly avoid more serious scarring. So, take the time to evaluate your relationship with these key points in mind and honestly ask yourself. Is my partner right for me?